


I see the stars in your eyes

by EstherWeepingAngel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Swimming, Background Relationships, Boys In Love, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M, Swimming, everybody else tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 23:24:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16147736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstherWeepingAngel/pseuds/EstherWeepingAngel
Summary: Hajime really hates the new guy on the swimming team.He might also have a little crush on him. A small, insignificant crush.





	I see the stars in your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I love swimming, I love Iwaoi- this happened. 
> 
> Mentions of panic attacks, if you're sensitive to this topic then I wouldn't recommend reading this. 
> 
> Hope you like this, it's my first time writing such a long one-shot, I just thought I'd get out of my comfort zone for one of my favorite ships <3  
> I'm kind of scared about posting this, so while constructive criticism is appreciated, please don't be too harsh lol :)
> 
> !English is not my native language, I probably have lots of grammar mistakes! Also, I know nothing about how college and sports team at college work, so bear with me.
> 
> *Edited on 3/11/2018.

Iwaizumi Hajime had a long list of things he regrets doing.

That time he brought home some bugs from the park without his mother knowing, only for them to escape and make his family terrified and leave Hajime grounded for weeks. Or when he told Koutaro to tell him everything that happened in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, just because he couldn't wait to actually finish the book.

Going through high school while trying to act straight and deny his sexuality was high on his list. Losing his virginity to Sawamura Daichi during their senior year was one of the most embarrassing ones (most of his regrets were.).

Not that Daichi was a bad guy. He was nice and reliable, and they both ended up sticking together as friends through college too. But the both of them having zero sexual chemistry made the whole thing an awkward mess, leaving Hajime scarred and single for almost a year.

But none of these stupid or odd incidents had ever made Iwaizumi hate himself as much as being a part of the university swimming team did.

Did Hajime like swimming? Sure. Swimming was one of the few things he truly enjoyed in life, other than procrastinating and watching cartoons.

But if there was one thing that Hajime truly loathed, it was morning practices.

And as he parked his car in the pool's parking lot, Hajime couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking when he joined in the first place.

It was freezing, despite it being May, and Hajime yawned into his coffee, the portable mug barely providing any warmth at all. The barista who opened the café and made the soy latte had shot him a dirty look as he worked the espresso machine, not that Hajime could blame him. He'd be mad at anyone interacting with him at five am too.

The pool was almost empty when he walked in, the fluorescent lights a striking contrast with the darkness outside.

Hajime squinted and walked to assistant coach Ukai who was slumped on one of the plastic chairs, flipping through a magazine with an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. Hajime wondered how long it'd take him to go back to the bad habit, knowing that the man had tried to stop smoking dozens of times, each attempt as unsuccessful as the last.

"It calms me down," The man would say every time his swimmer called him out. "You can't blame me for needing a smoke after spending every afternoon with you brats."  
Bullshit. Hajime saw right through his facade and knew Ukai loved them.

"Good morning, coach."

Ukai looked up and grunted. He wasn't much older than Hajime, but could sometimes act exactly like a sixty years old man.  
"Morning, Iwaizumi. How's your shoulder?"

"Better. I stretched and put a heating bag as you told me to; it helped." Hajime lied smoothly.

His shoulder was still tense, and his fingers were still numb from the ice water he ran his burning fingers under. He wasn't going to tell the coach that, obviously. Hajime didn't feel like sitting out or swimming with one of the kids' boards. Kuroo and Koutarou would never let him forget that.

"Good. Go change and take it easy today, you hear me?"

"Yeah, I know." Hajime rolled his eyes and pushed open the door to the men's changing room.

Koutarou was sitting on one of the benches, already clad in his tight black and white swimming suit, his goggles and his swimming cap beside him.  
Tobio was stripping on the side, his eyes barely opened and head dropping forward every few seconds.

None of the others was here, but Hajime wasn't surprised, knowing well enough that the majority of his teammates will show up late to practice, as usually happened during the first weeks of school.

Hajime couldn't wait for the day to be over, his eyes already fluttering closed with fatigue. He thought wistfully about his bed until he remembered that he had two papers to work on and practice in the afternoon.

Maybe Hajime should have picked basketball instead. Or chess.

"You finally decided to show up?"

"I'm," Hajime glanced at his phone."Ten minutes early."

"I got here twenty minutes ago! Ukai let me in."

Hajime frowned at his best friend. "You still can't sleep?"

Koutarou's smile faltered, his lips forming a tight line. "You know how it is. Classes are tough."

"Koutarou-"

"Anyway," Koutarou ignored Hajime."Why are you so early, Tobio?

"  
Hajime sighed before taking off his coat, knowing better than to push the subject any further.

"I wanted to get here before Shouyou did."

Koutarou tilted his head to the side and Hajime snickered underneath his sweatshirt as he took the layer off.

"Why?"

"They're having a bet, " Hajime was rummaging through his bag, fishing out his goggles and his suit from the bottom. "Whoever gets here first for two weeks in a row wins."

"Wins what?" Koutarou still looked confused. Hajime didn't blame him.

"Huh," Tobio looked pensive. "I don't know. I just want to win." He shrugged and then snapped his cap on, just as Shouyou stormed in through the door.

He was panting, and his hair looked even messier than usual, hanging around his head like an orange halo. Some strands were caught in the delicate piercings on Shouyou's ears, and Hajime hoped the smaller man wouldn't get an infection like he did last month.  
Hajime did not feel like dealing with his teammate's keloid again.

"No!" Shouyou whined, sliding to the floor in defeat as Tobio laughed. "I really thought I would make it before you!"

"You're such a loser." Tobio shoved his bag into his locker, walking past Shouyou with an indifferent look. Hajime noticed the stiffness in Tobio's shoulders and the blush crawling up his neck and smirked.

After Shoyou, more people slowly filled out the lockers room- Kuroo who was drinking black coffee from a gigantic thermos, Tanaka who looked way too energetic, Shigeru who was definitely not staring angrily at a shirtless Kentarou...

Hajime had been swimming with this team for two years; each one more challenging than the last. His teammates could be annoying and obnoxious sometimes, and the long practices and swim meets were stressing during finals. But as Hajime looked around at his friends, he admitted to himself that he wouldn't change a thing.

"Keiji! Are you a dementor? Cause you're taking my breath away~" Koutarou's smooth voice turned to a yelp when Keiji smacked him with his towel.  
Hajime sighed at Koutarou's whines and pushed the door open, making his way to the pool.

 

  
"Somebody's joining the team."

"Well hello to you too." Hajime smiled sarcastically at Yuu who had sat down on the grass next to him, a green shake in one hand and a protein bar in the other.

"Stop being dramatic," Yuu rolled his eyes."Have you listened at all?"

"Says who?"

"Says Daichi. He's a transfer student, and he's in his third year like you!"

"There's no way Irihata will allow anyone in the team. He never lets new people join the team after the semester has started, especially not upperclassmen."

"That's what I thought! But Daichi said so."

"I don't trust Daichi's word," Hajime clicked his tongue at Yuu's outraged expression. "He's betrayed me before."  
"Is watching Stranger Things' new season without you considered a betrayal?"

Hajime shrugged, and Yuu sighed in exasperation.

"Whatever. We'll just have to wait for practice to find out," Yuu shrugged and took a huge bite of his protein bar. "Can I have your notes?"

"No," Hajime snatched his binder away from Yuu's small hands. "What are you drinking anyway? And since when do you eat," Hajime leaned over to read the wrapper crumpled up in Yuu's hand. "Raisins and oats? What's wrong with you?"

"Ryu and I are trying this healthy thing, to build up muscles. Wakatoshi gave me the recipe for this."

Yuu shook the green smoothie and then took a big gulp, only to spit it out on the grass. "Fuck, this is disgusting. I miss my frappuccino."

  
"Dude, Wakatoshi has never been to Mcdonalds, don't listen to anything he has to say about food."

Hajime shook his head, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

  
"Good to know," Yuu looked at the smoothie with disgust before setting it down and pulling out a can of Pringles. "Fortunately, I brought those."

  
"Coach would kill you if he knew you were eating those."

  
"Do you want some?"

  
"Do you really need to ask?"

  
"Great!" Yuu extended his hand with a fake smile, looking down at Hajime's literature notes.

  
"I hope you fail the exam. Maybe then you'll start doing your own school work." Hajime handed Yuu the notes and snatched the chips.

  
"You're a terrible friend, Hajime."

  
"I know."

Hajime watched Yuu speed writing into his battered notebook and let his thoughts wander. If the coach was accepting somebody new into the team, they must be good. Very good.

  
Hajime sighed when he saw Ryu and Issei walk toward them, their excited voices loud enough for him to hear from a distance.

Hopefully, the new guy won't be annoying. But there was no way Hajime could be that lucky.  
  


  
Hajime knew that he was going to hate the new guy as soon as he walked into the pool.

  
Maybe it was the group of giggling girls and guys that held him up at the door, their voices interrupting the coach who was giving them instructions by the board. Or maybe it was the perfectly tousled mop of hair on the guy's head, the brown locks and his smirk catching everybody's attention as he walked in, not looking too sheepish by the fact that he was late.

"Hello, Irihata-san! Sorry about being late, I got caught up."

The guy pointed to the group of freshmen who were peeking at them through the door. They all shrieked and fled when Ukai sent them a dirty look, and Hajime could hear Ryu grumbling beside him.

"Don't let that happen again, Tooru," The coach turned to the rest of the team. "Everyone, this is Tooru Oikawa. Go change and stretch."

  
Tooru nodded and made his way to the lockers room without paying attention to the whispers of his new teammates. Hajime could have sworn his smile only grew larger as he walked past him, his head held high.

Yeah, Hajime already hated him.

"I told you, Hajime!" Yuu slapped him on the back.

  
"Fine, you were right. Who even is this guy anyway?"

  
"He's in one of my classes," Kuroo said, struggling to tame his hair under his swimming cap. "He seems smart, always answer questions and all."

  
"What class?"

  
"Astronomy. I think he's an astrophysics major."

"I've seen him around campus," Yuuji said, his tongue playing with the barbel pierced into it. "He always has groupies following him."

"Is that so?" Ryu growled. "I hate guys like him, thinking they're better than everybody else-."

"Calm down, Tanaka. Start your laps."

Shimizu flicked Ryu on the forehead, leaving the man red and wide-eyed.

  
"I've been blessed!"

  
"Congratulations, man! That's the closest you'll ever get to Shimizu!" Yuu mocked his best friend who didn't seem too bothered by the statement.

  
"Shut up, Yuu! You had liked her too before you met Asahi. I'm telling you, this year will be my year!"

  
"Come on, lover boy," Amani dragged Ryu by the elbow with a deep scowl on her face and pushed him into the pool. "You're not gonna impress anyone by hanging around doing nothing!"

"Which one do you think will come first," Kei said, looking at a screaming Ryu. "Him realizing that Shimizu is gay, or him realizing that Amani had been in love with him for years?"

"Both of them will happen before you'll ask Tadashi out, I guess," Hajime said, Kuroo and Yuuji both roaring with laughter at Kei's blush.

"Hey! Stop messing around and get inside!"  
"Yes, coach!"

Hajime put on his goggles and dived into the pool, the cold water immediately snapping him out of the sleepiness he had been dwelling in since Psychology.

He immediately starts to swim, the familiar strokes and smell of chlorine almost comforting. Hajime starts with freestyle, swimming two laps before switching to butterfly, his favorite.  
  
His muscles started to burn after a few laps, but Hajime continued, liking the feeling of his hands hitting the water and knowing his turns were just right.

Hajime touched the wall after his fourth lap, pushing up his goggles and breathing in heavily. He had swum faster than he intended, but Coach Ukai was too busy talking to Akiteru, not even glancing Hajime's way to scold him about straining himself.

Hajime sighed in relief and was about to start with his next set when a voice from behind startled him, making him stab himself in the eye with the edge of his goggles.

"Your body is too flat when you swim."

Hajime snapped his head around, a deep scowl on his face.

"Huh?"

"You should fix your dolphin kick; it will make your swim much faster. Are you not familiar with the butterfly?"

It was the new guy, Tooru. Hajime resisted the urge to growl and swim away, and only lifted an eyebrow.

"Who are you again?"

"I'm Tooru Oikawa," He held out his hand, and Hajime stared at him for far too long before shaking it, feeling satisfied by the embarrassment on the other's face. "I'm a third year."

Hajime nodded his head and slid on his goggles, ready to get away from the unwelcomed conversation, but he was stopped again.

"Did I offend you? Sorry, I just thought you might appreciate the advice. What's your name."

"Hajime Iwaizumi. I specialize in the butterfly."

"Really?" Tooru suppressed a smile, and Hajime had to stop himself from smacking him. "I couldn't tell, sorry. I specialize in freestyle, but I'm pretty good in the others strokes too so I could help you out if you want."

Hajime glared at a grinning Tooru, only getting more annoyed by the freckles on Tooru's nose and the dimple on his cheek.

"No thanks. I think I'll manage."

Hajime left before Tooru could stop him again, and as he lifted his head for a breath he heard Tooru yelling after him.

"See you later, Iwa-chan!"

Hajime gritted his teeth without stopping, his arms stiffer and his legs kicking more angrily than before.

  
And he might have tried to roll his body more, arching his back as he lifted his hands up.  
Not that he'd ever tell the new guy that he improved his time and that the strokes felt much more fluid. He had way too much pride for that.

 

 

The fact that the new guy was a good swimmer didn't make Hajime feel better.

  
Fuck, he was better than good. He swam as if he was born to do it, making the moves seem effortless and coming up from each lap without even panting. Hajime wasn't the only one looking at him, Kuroo and Koutarou had stopped in the lane next to his to watch, and the coach was staring at the swimmer with a satisfied smile.

  
Tobio and Keiji were watching Tooru too, though they both looked more observing than admiring. Keiji always swam the individual medley in competitions, and Hajime knew that Tobio was hoping to do so as well.

Tooru finished the last lap and then emerged from the pool, an easy smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

  
"How was it?" He asked the coach, one hand on his hip. Hajime caught himself staring at a droplet of water that rolled down Tooru's back and smacked a cackling Koutarou who had followed his gaze.

"I must say I'm impressed. Nekomata told me you were good, but you seem to have improved since Nationals."

"Nationals?" Hajime said looking confused. "He wasn't at Nationals."

"You're right, I don't remember him either."

"He used to train in America," Wakatoshi, who had just finished his own set, said. "He went to school there. Maybe his former coach had sent Ukai videos."

"How do you know?"

"We went to high school together. He had always been a good swimmer, and I thought he'd go to the same university as me, but he chose to study abroad instead."

"I wonder what made him come back..." Hajime pondered, watching Tooru who was nodding at something the coach was telling him.

"I don't know why he's back," Wakatoshi frowned. "But he looks different. Less happy."

"Are you sure?" Kuroo clicked his tongue. "They dude has been smirking like a douchebag since he got here."

"Torru has always been good at hiding his emotions." Wakatoshi shrugged and then left, swimming away on his back.

"You know," Koutarou leaned on the red lane line. "I've known this guy for more than two years, and I still don't understand him."

"Does anyone?" Kuro chuckled with a shrug. "Satori is the only one who can have a full conversation with him. Do you want to race me, Hajime?"

Hajime snapped his gaze away from Tooru and took a deep breath.

  
"Yeah, sure."

  
He looked Tooru's way once again, only to see that the latter was glancing at him too, a cocky smirk on his face.  
Hajime frowned and hoped his cheeks weren't visibly red before diving in, the image of light brown eyes and freckles not leaving his mind until the end of practice.

 

 

"So, I'm throwing a party next weekend, and you're coming, Hajime."

"What's the occasion this time?" Hajime looked at Kuroo who had just emerged from one of the shower stalls, only wearing his boxers and with a towel wrapped around his head. The lockers room was almost empty, and Hajime couldn't wait to get home and eat the pack of Oreos he had been thinking about since lunch. "Is it national birds day or something?"

"No, why would anyone celebrate that?" Kuroo smirked, knowing that Hajime hated it when his sarcasm was taken seriously. "It's Suguru's birthday."

"Don't you hate Suguru?" Yuu said, gelling up his hair. "You've been complaining about him since forever."

"Oh, yeah. We're sleeping together now, so you could say we made up?"

"What about the getting together with Kenma plan?" Keiji asked with narrowed eyes and crossed arms.

"Well," Kuroo yanked the towel from his head, trying to tame his hair which looked just as messy as it did when he took his cap off. "Suguru is a part of my new plan, which is getting over Kenma before my crush turns into a ten-year-old obsession!"

Keiji did not look impressed. "Is Suguru aware of this plan?"

"Look, I may be a complete mess, but I'm not a jerk. He knows that we're fuck buddies, and he's head over heels this girl from his calculus class anyways."

"You should confess already, man," Koutarou patted his best friend on the back. "You've been friends since you were kids, it's not like it could ruin your friendship! Keeping those feelings bottled up will only make you feel worse."

"Speaking of feeling worse, how are you, Kou? Have you been getting good sleep?"

Hajime flinched by Kuroo's words, knowing that he had reached a sensitive topic. But Koutarou only laughed before walking away, looking slightly deflated.

"Or you could keep sleeping around and having fun, that's good too!"

Hajime wasn't the only one looking at Koutarou with concern. Keiji and Daichi were too, both of them following their friend as he stuffed his clothes in his bag far more forcefully than usual.

Tobio looked confused by the whole exchange but then shrugged, the few weeks he had spent with his teammates having taught him that he shouldn't try to understand what was going on.  
"Won't your roommates mind, Kuroo?"

"Nah, Morisuke and Kai are cool."

"As amazing as this sounds, I'll have to pass. I have plans." The small smile on Daichi's face was enough for Hajime to guess what sort of plans they were, and for Kuroo too.  
  
"Oh? Still not over your honeymoon phase?"

"It's not a honeymoon phase, you idiot. Suga and I are going home to spend time with my parents."

"Ugh, you and Suga are such a married couple. It's gross." Satori said.

"You're just jealous since Wakatoshi is the least romantic person ever."

Satori only rolled his eyes at Kuroo's taunt, already tugging his boyfriend out of the locker room by the hand.  
"At least I have my crush as a boyfriend!"

Kuroo gritted his teeth as he watched the pair leave. "I really hate that guy sometimes."

"It's so weird, seeing Ushiwaka like that. I never thought he'd have a significant other."  
  
Hajime froze at the proximity of the voice, and he looked up from his backpack to see Tooru standing right next to him, one hand on his hip and his wet hair looking just as good as it did when styled.

It's been more than a month since Tooru had joined the team. Despite being new to the school and the team, he had managed to be on friendly terms with almost the whole team. He had it all: charisma, good looks, wit, good grades and an impressive major.

And Haime might have had developed a small crush on Tooru Oikawa. A solid crush that made him blush every time Tooru smiled at him, or every time Tooru got out of the pool in his muscular, handsome glory.

God, Hajime hated the guy and how gay he was for him.

"Was he as weird when you were teens?" Tobio asked, his eyes gleaming.

"He's not as quiet as he used to be, but he's just as annoyingly good at everything."

Hajime didn't miss the coldness in Tooru's voice as he answered Tobio. He wondered if it had something to do with the fact that Tobio had gotten a better time in the individual medley from the week before. Or maybe it was Tobio asking for swimming tips whenever he could.

"You don't like him huh?"

Tooru looked surprised by Hajime talking to him, but his glare turned to a smile when he looked down at Hajime (who was still mad about Tooru being taller than him.).

"He's an old rival, and I hold grudges." Tooru's soft voice broke him out of his trance, and Hajime sneered at Tooru.

"That's kind of childish, don't you think?" Hajime broke eye contact before he could blush. Looking at Tooru's eyes for too long usually made him do stupid things; trip on his feet, stutter, say dumb things. Ryu was still reminding him daily of the time he complimented Tooru's ass to his face.

"You're so rude, Iwa-chan!" Hajime could hear the smile in his voice.

"Stop calling me that." He muttered. He grabbed his bag and walked to the door, kicking it open before he could embarrass himself again.

"You know you like it when I call you like that, Iwa chan!"

Hajime stopped in his tracks and sighed before mustering his best cocky smile, hoping he looked more confident than he felt. He looked back at Oikawa, with one hand gripping his bag and the other stuffed in his jeans pocket.

"You wish, Trashykawa."

Hajime gave one last wave before bolting out of the room, resisting the urge to smile as he thought of the frustrated frown on Tooru's face.

 

  
"You have a massive crush on him!"

"I do not." Hajime frowned at Alisa as dragged a cart of books from one shelf to another. She was leaning over the counter, not paying any attention to the group of freshmen students who were gawking at her from one of the tables.

"You do! You've been talking about him for forty minutes!"

"Yeah, talking about how annoying he was!" Hajime glanced at the spine of a book and slammed it back on the cart. "Why do people think it's a good idea to bring here books from the other side of the library?"

"Don't change the subject, Hajime," Alisa smirked and walked up to him to help him stack the books in their place.

"Look," Hajime groaned with frustration, scanning the shelf for the W.

  
"He's cute, I guess. And he's a good swimmer. But I met him a month ago, so no, I don't have a massive crush on him."

"Lev told me he's really nice! He's been helping him improve his dives and everything. He's gotten better, too!"

"Alisa, your brother could only get better from where he started." Hajime laughed, remembering the look on the coach's face when Lev showed up on the first day of practice without knowing how to swim at all.

"Shut up," Alisa smiled too. "Anyways, he's cute and kind. That's usually your type, isn't it?"

"I'm not interested in a relationship right now, Alisa."

"Why not?"

Hajime sighed before placing the last book on the shelf, not looking Alisa in the eye. While she did make his shifts in the library more entertaining, she was the most stubborn person he's ever met.

"You saw what happened last time I had a crush. I don't really want to go through that mess again."

"Hajime, honey," Alisa rolled her eyes as she pulled up her smooth hair into a high ponytail. "This is not a Korean drama. Stop being an angsty little shit, and get over it. You can't compare coach Mizoguchi to this new guy."

Hajime crossed his arms defensively around himself at Alisa's words. Denying the feelings he might be developing for Tooru was embarrassing enough without Alisa bringing his former crush up.

"I don't think he even likes me. Nobody knows anything about him, anyway."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He seems fake. He's always smiling and cheerful with everybody, but it always looks like he's forcing it. And no one seems to know why he came back from America, too."

"You've been asking about him, haven't you?" Alisa smirked.

"Yes, I'm curious about him," Hajime licked his lips, his heart suddenly beating faster in his chest as he thought of today's practice.

He had spotted Tooru the moment he got on one of the diving boards, ready for another set when he had seen it. Tooru had been talking with Akiteru and Youtarou, his usual smirk plastered on his face and his arms waving enthusiastically as he spoke.

But Hajime saw the way his smile slid right off Tooru's face when he left the two, his eyes dropping to the ground and his shoulders hunching as if he were tired of standing straight.

"Maybe he's going through something," Alisa patted him on the back. "Maybe he prefers acting strongly to asking for help. He sounds like someone I know."

Hajime rolled his eyes, smiling. "I'm not that arrogant."

"You used to be. Try to talk to him, be his friend. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I could become his friend, fall in love with him, get rejected and then ruin our friendship -"

"You're overthinking this," Alisa cut him off sternly. "Be brave! Go out of your comfort zone for once!"

"Fine, fine," Hajime pushed her away gently. "I'll try. Why don't you go bother Kenma? He's playing with his phone again."

"Kenma!"

Hajime chuckled when the blonde man glared at him and gave him a cheeky wave before heading to the next bookshelf, dragging the empty cart after him.

Hajime was about Alisa's words, wondering if Tooru would show up to Kuroo's party and if it would give him an opportunity to make conversation when he ran into a hard chest.

"Oh, sorry," Hajime cursed as he bumped into the metal cart behind him. He was about to apologize again when he looked up and saw who he had collided.

"Koutarou? What are you doing here? I don't think I've ever seen you in the library before- "

Hajime stopped laughing when he saw the look on his friend's face.

  
Koutarou's eyes were wide open and red as if he had been crying, his hands were balled into fists and Koutarou shoved them in the pockets of his hoodie when he saw Hajime staring at them. His face was pale, and his lips looked chapped and dry.

"What's wrong? Do you need water?" Hajime took Koutarou by the elbow. "Why are you wearing a hoodie, it's Summer, you're going to be sick-"

"I came to see you," Koutarou whispered, his voice breaking and his eyes watering slightly.

"I, I didn't know what to and-" His breaths became more urgent, and Hajime could see the panic rise on his friend's face, his eyes looking around with alarm.

"I'm sorry about bothering you, sorry Hajime, I just-"

"Hey, look at me," Hajime gripped Koutarou's shoulders, forcing the other man to look him in the eyes.

Looking at them more closely, Hajime noticed the shadow under Koutarou's eyes, the tiny scar he got from a sledding accident when he was a kid, and scratches marks at the corner of the golden eyes.

  
When he saw the red lines Hajime felt like crying too, because he should have noticed how tired Koutarou had looked these past weeks, should have seen how often he rubbed his eyes red and how bloody his fingernails were from biting.

"Let's go outside, alright? Is the park okay?"

Koutarou shook his head. "No, I don't want," He gulped. "Keiji is studying downstairs."

Hajime understood immediately, knowing that Koutarou wouldn't want Keiji to see him like this.  He took Koutarou's hand in his, leading him to the staff room and locking the door behind them.

Koutarou slid to the floor as soon as Hajime closed the door, burying his face in knees. Hajime sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He had been around Koutarou's panic attacks enough times to know that touch made him feel better, more 'grounded' as Koutarou had once told him himself.

"I don't know why this happened," Koutarou sobbed and Hajime's heart broke. "I've been taking my meds and trying to get better, but I haven't been able to sleep since May because I don't understand anything in Biology... I'm going to fail and," Koutarou gasped, not finishing his sentence.

"Koutarou, breathe," Hajime took his hands in his. "You're alright, it's fine."

  
He rubbed small circles on Koutarou's knuckles, knowing that the familiar gesture will calm Koutarou down. Hajime was more prepared than he had been the first time it had happened, back when they were twelve years old and Koutarou's mom had left.

After a few minutes, Koutarou stopped crying. He took a deep breath and then glanced up, his golden eyes still red and puffy.

Hajime got up and took some tea bags out of the cupboard. As he waited for the water to boil, he handed Koutarou a few napkins and put on the air conditioner when he saw how sweaty Koutarou was. He didn't tell Koutarou to take the hoodie off, realizing that he might have put it on for comfort. The black worn sweater belonged to Koutarou's dad, after all.

Once the tea was ready, Hajime took the two mugs and sat down next to Koutarou and handed him the one that had a dog on it.

Koutarou didn't smile like Hajime had hoped he would, but he muttered a thank you before blowing on the drink, inhaling the scent.

Hajime was halfway through his cup when Koutarou spoke.

"I've been skipping my appointments at Takeyuki's."

  
Hajime's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the mention of Koutarou's therapist. "Why? You've been seeing him since high school."

"I'm sick of my dad spending money because of me. I thought I could get better alone, I have my meds and he had taught me how to deal with  _those_ ," Koutarou scowled. "But I can't sleep, and I can't concentrate and I'm sick of being like this." His knuckles turned white from gripping the mug so tight.

"Kou, your dad is paying for those appointments because he wants you to get better. He loves you more than anything, you shouldn't feel guilty about that."

"I know, I'm dumb-"

"You're not," Hajime felt a pang of guilt as Koutarou flinched at his harsh voice, but he continued. "You're one of the smartest people I know, and you caring about your dad doesn't make you dumb."

"I should have told you."

"Maybe. But don't feel bad about not telling me, too."

"I didn't want to disappoint you."

Hajime was crying now, and he put his mug on the ground beside him before wrapping his arms around Koutarou.

"I would never be disappointed in you, Koutarou. You're my best friend; I want you to know that I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens. You're always there for me, right?"

"Right." Koutarou was hugging him back, and Hajime could feel him smiling against his neck.

"We'll call Takeyuki tomorrow, okay? It's going to be alright."

"Okay. Thank you, Hajime."

Hajime leaned back and laughed. "God, I have three more hours of my shift and I look like crap. Do you want to sleep over? We can watch Mulan if you want."

Koutarou's face brightened a little.

"Yeah. I can wait for you here, is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay. I'll get ice cream, too."

 

 

The day after the library incident, Koutarou didn't come to practice.  
Hajime had dropped him off at the therapist, giving his shoulder a light squeeze and smiling at him as he ran up the stairs and entered the tall building.  
Koutarou had managed to sleep for six hours after they finished the movie, the presence of Hajime probably calming him down.

As Hajime drove to the pool, he forced himself to swallow back the nerves and worry about his friend. He had to trust him, had to believe he'd be fine without him fussing over him, too.

Keiji had cornered him the moment he walked into the pool. Hajime noticed that he looked tired and worried too, and he felt a pang of guilt about not telling Koutarou to call his boyfriend.

"Where is Koutarou? He's been avoiding me since last week, and I tried to call but he won't answer-"

"He's at Takeyuki's. He had a panic attack yesterday. He's okay now," Hajime added when Keiji's eyes widened in worry. "But he's stubborn, you know? He hates admitting that he's not okay."

"He told _you_ , didn't he?" Keiji sounded bitter, and Hajime prayed to whatever god listening, whishing Keiji wouldn't start crying. Hajime was bad at dealing with tears, especially his own. "He never tells me when he needs help, and I'm his boyfriend. He doesn't trust me."

"Look, Keiji," Hajime rubbed the back of his neck. "I know you care about him, and I know you're worried. But Koutarou needs time. He told me about his attacks after years of me being his best friend, he told you after a few months. He loves you, more than he probably knows. Just give him time, okay?"

Keiji nodded, and Hajime gave him a quick hug which made the curly haired man smile before thanking him and walking away.

"What was that about?"

Hajime almost slipped on the wet tiles at the voice speaking behind him.

"Um," He turned to look at Tooru who was watching Keiji with narrowed eyes and a venomous smile. "He was asking me about Koutarou?"

"The one with the white hair? Why?"

Hajime lifted an eyebrow at the sharpness of Tooru's voice.  
"He's Keiji's boyfriend, so he asked where he was."

"Oh," Tooru's smile turned to a softer one and Hajime noticed the blush on his cheeks. "I didn't know."

Hajime stared at Tooru for a few seconds before realizing what the scary smile and question were all about.  
Tooru was jealous.

Hajime cleared his throat and forced himself to smirk; his hands now balled into fists. He should have had known, should have had seen it coming. Keiji was one of the most attractive swimmers on the team, one of the more talented ones too.

Hajime was nothing compared to him.

"Are you," Hajime winced at the sound of his own, high pitched voice. "Are you interested in him or something?"

Tooru looked at him with surprise, blinking slowly before laughing, the sound of it making Hajime's heart squeeze.

"You're not as smart as you look, huh?"

Hajime felt the heat rising in his neck and he was about to snap back at Tooru, but the latter grabbed his hand, cutting off a now scarlet and stuttering Hajime.

"Race me?"

"Are you sure, Shittykawa? I wouldn't want to hurt you huge ego by winning." Hajime deadpanned with a smirk.

"I'll take the risk." Tooru chuckled.

They climbed on the starting blocks and Hajime looked at Tooru from the corner of his eye, following the elegant arc of Tooru's pale back, the fine muscles of his legs and the black suit that left little to the imagination.

Hajime jumped a few seconds after the whistle had gone off, too distracted by the man beside him. As he dived in and started to swim, he got surprised by the laughter bubbling in his chest, the smile that was tugging at his lips every time he took a breath.

It had been a while since he had that much fun while swimming.

Tooru ended up winning. He stuck his tongue out at his teammate, mocking him and patting his shoulder with fake sympathy.

And for some reason, Hajime didn't mind. Not that anyone should know that his anger was fake, or that the skin of his shoulder still tingled many hours later.

 

 

"I regret everything."

"Stop being such a grandpa, Hajime!" Yachi handed Hajime a beer and laughed when she saw his grimace. "You're allowed to have a break once in a while."

Hajime grunted and shrugged before taking a long sip. He coughed as the bitter liquid slid down his throat, reminding him why he hated beer.

  
"When did you two get here?" He asked Yachi and Shimizu who were holding hands, both wearing sundresses and matching gleaming smiles.

"About half an hour ago," Shimizu smiled. "It was definitely not as crowded as it is now."  
Hajime sighed. "I'm pretty sure Kuroo and Suguru invited the whole campus, by the looks of it. How did they even afford all of this?"

  
Hajime nodded at the tables that were scattered across the whole backyard, filled with bottles of alcohol and boxes of food.

"Suguru's parents own most of the buildings on campus," Kuroo had appeared next to them, holding a red plastic cup and wearing a cutout crop top. Hajime wondered why he couldn't look good in crop tops, as he noticed the looks his friend was getting.

Hajime looked around the yard, looking for a sign of brown curls or narrow shoulders, trying to not let his hopes up. He wasn't even sure Tooru was coming, looking for him might have been a waste of time anyways-.

"Tooru is here, in case you were wondering." Kuroo's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

  
"I wasn't." Hajime took a sip of his beer, so he wouldn't have to look at Kuroo.

  
"Sure you weren't," Kuroo smiled innocently.

"He's hanging out with Shigeru, Yuu, and Asahi by the pool. Just in case you do want to see him, that is."

  
Kuroo left with a two-fingered salute and Hajime watched him as he joined Suguru in the mass of dancing people, grinding on him in a way that shouldn't be allowed in public.

Ryu walked up to them, and Hajime was surprised to see that he had his arm wrapped around a beaming Amanai.

Hajime decided to leave the four alone, searching for some of his other friends across the backyard.

He saw Satori talking with Wakatoshi, both leaning over a thick book and smiling at each other. Shouyou and Tobio were on one of the couches, and Hajime snickered when he saw that Shouyou was giving a flustered looking Tobio a lap dance. Lev was talking to Kuroo's short roommate, and Kei was dancing with Tadashi, both being extremely out of rhythm.

Was Hajime bitter about being surrounded by couples? Maybe. But it was also nice, to know that things were sorting themselves out for everyone.  
Expect for him.

Just as he considered going home to watch Fullmetal Alchemist with a huge plate of noodles, Hajime heard someone calling his name.

  
He turned around and saw Tooru, Kenma, and Yahaba sitting on the edge of the pool. Hajime swallowed back his nerves and joined them. He chose to not linger on the smile that lit up Tooru's face when he sat down next to him or the sly smirk on Yahaba's face as he scooted over so Hajime could sit next to Tooru.

"Hajime!" Tooru shoved a slice of pizza in Hajime's face. "I didn't know you were coming!"

Yahaba snorted, and Hajime could swear he saw Tooru kicking him under the water.  
"Thanks," Hajime took off his shoes, rolled up his jeans and dipped his legs in the water before taking the pizza. "I didn't feel like going through two weeks of Kuroo bitching about me not coming."

"Kuroo can be an idiot sometimes." Tooru giggles. God, Hajime wanted to kiss him.

"A real douchebag." Kenma agreed, and Hajime noticed the cup he was holding and the almost empty bottle of vodka next to him.

"What happened to him?" He asked Shigeru.

"Kuroo happened," Shigeru pointed to where everybody was dancing and Hajime saw an intoxicated Kuroo who appeared to have his tongue deep down Suguru's throat.

"Oh," Hajime grimaced in sympathy. "You know it's not serious, right?"

"Of course I know," Kenma let out a sarcastic laugh."He's just too much of a coward to confess to me."

"You know?!" Maybe Hajime shouldn't have been so surprised. Kenma was one of the most observant people he knew.

"Duh. He's my fucking best friend." Kenma frowned and brought the bottle to his lips, sucking the last drops of alcohol.

"Well, that's depressing." Shigeru played with the straw of his rum and coke. Tooru hummed in agreement and Hajime wondered if he should take his hands, which was resting in the tiny space between them.

"Did you speak to Koutarou?" Kenma asked as he brought down the now empty bottle.

"Yeah, Keiji and he made it to his dad's house. They might stay there until Tuesday, Keiji said he didn't mind missing a few classes."

  
"I'll bring him my notes," Kenma said. "Is Koutarou okay?"

  
"Better than he was Monday, that's for sure." Hajime smiled and nibbled at the crust of his pizza. He munched on the bread and almost choked on it when he saw Tooru looking at him with a soft look.

"Oy," The four of them turned around to see Kentarou. He was glaring at Shigeru with heated cheeks and runny eyeliner. "Dance with me."

  
Shigeru looked stunned, and for a moment Hajime was scared he was going to ruin this by saying something rude. But then he smiled, making Kentarou's frown loosen.  
"Sure."

Hajime looked at their retreating backs. "Huh. I honestly thought that would take another semester to happen."

"Is everybody on the team gay and in love with one another?" Tooru asked with a grin and Doritos crumbles on his bottom lip.  
Hajime tore his gaze away from Tooru's tongue as it licked away the crumbs.

"Um, Wakatoshi is ace. And some of the others are bi or pan. But yeah, I think Amanai and Ryu are the only straight couple we have.

"Good to know I'm not a minority, then."

Hajime blinked at Tooru, trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean. Tooru stared back at him, and Hajime hoped he wasn't imagining the other man looking at his lips while biting his own.

"My friends!" Kuroo dropped down in Shigeru's spot, and Hajime broke eye contact with Tooru. "Are you all enjoying yourselves?"

"Sure," Hajime grinned at his face. "You seem to have a pretty good time too."

"I am!" Kuroo wrapped one arm around Hajime and one around Kenma, who growled and shook him off.

"What's wrong, kitten?" Kuroo's smirk turned to a frown when he saw Kenma's glazed look.

"Since when do you drink?"

"Shut up?"

"Are you okay? Do you need water? I can bring you painkillers and some food, wait-"

Then a lot of things happened very fast. Hajime saw Kenma's frown turn to an adoring look, and then before he knew it, Kenma was kissing Kuroo. Then Kuroo kissed Kenma back, the both of them falling back into the water, dragging Hajime after them.

Hajime came back to the surface with a curse. Luckily, his phone was still next to an aghast Tooru. Hajime cursed and pushed his bangs back, turning to glare angrily at the pair behind him.

  
They were both locked in a tight embrace, their foreheads touching and their eyes locked in an intimate gaze. Kenma, who despised water, didn't seem fazed by his dripping hair and clothes, and Kuroo was smiling wider than Hajime had ever seen.

"Assholes." Hajime hoisted himself out of the water. He squeezed the water out of the hem of his shirt and groaned at the uncomfortable feeling of having soaked jeans.

"Are you okay, Hajime?" Tooru was laughing, only shaking harder when Hajime pouted.  
"Yeah, I'll live. I hope they both wake up with a hangover tomorrow." He threw a nasty look at the couple, who were now making out to loud cheers.

  
Hajime peeled off his shirt and balled it to a wet clump. "I'm going to change in Kuroo's room. You're coming?"

Tooru was staring at Hajime's torso with a slightly open mouth and Hajime felt both shy and proud. Since when did he care about people seeing his shirtless?

"Um, yeah. Sure." Tooru pocketed his and Hajime's phones and followed the greened eyes man as he made his way into the two-story house. 

Kuroo's room was upstairs. Hajime went to the huge dresser and pulled out a pair of sweatpants, boxers, and a long-sleeved shirt.

"Won't Kuroo mind?" Tooru asked from the doorway.

  
"Kuroo," Hajime said as he searched for a fresh towel. "Can bite me. But not, he won't mind."

  
Tooru chuckled and went to sit on the bed. He seemed nervous, looking around at the posters and the messy bookshelves that covered the walls.

"Um, wait here, okay?"  
Tooru nodded, and Hajime went into the attached bathroom, the closed door making him realize the situation he was in.  
He was with his crush, in a room, with a bed. Alone.  
And he was shirtless.

Hajime stripped and toweled his damp sskin.Whatdid Tooru think was going to happen? What was Hajime supposed to do once he left the bathroom?

He had seen the way Tooru looked at him. And while he was scared of imagining the signs, he had the feeling Tooru liked him. Maybe.

"Hajime, is everything alright?"

"Yeah!" Hajime swallowed the lump in his throat. He yanked the shirt over his head and dropped the towel on the floor next to his wet clothes. He'd deal with that later.  
Hajime slid the door open, seeing that Tooru was still on the bed, tapping the floor impatiently.

"Hi."

  
"Hey," Hajime breathed in. Tooru's freckles seemed to glow in the dim lights. Hajime had never seen anyone look so beautiful. "Do you want to go downstairs?"

  
"No," Tooru flushed slightly and looked down at his intertwined fingers. "Can we stay here and talk? I don't like big crowds."

  
"Yeah, of course," The relief on Tooru's face was worth it all. "I'm not into parties too."

  
Tooru laid on his back, and Hajime laid down next to him. For some reason, it didn't feel awkward or out of place. The narrow space between them didn't make Hajime overthink and the silence wasn't embarrassing or tense.

"You're a good friend."

  
Hajime furrowed his eyebrows. "Where did that come from?"

  
"I mean," Tooru's voice was low and husky. Hajime felt shivers go down his spine.

"You're always there for the whole team, giving advice and helping people out."

  
"It's not that big of a deal."

  
"It is. They all look up to you, you know. I heard the coach say you'll be captain next year."

  
"Really?" Hajime had a feeling it might happen, but somebody saying it out loud made him feel lightheaded. "Well, I'll be better at being captain than Kuroo, so there's that."

"That, and you're the best person for the job. You're a great swimmer. A perfect leader."

  
Hajime was bright red by now, but so was Tooru.

  
"I thought my body was too flat at the butterfly."

  
Tooru chuckled softly. "It wasn't. I was just looking for an excuse to talk to you."

  
"You could've said hi and not make me doubt myself."  
"I was nervous."  
"Dumbass."  
They smiled at each other, and Hajime realized that somehow their hands have found each other.

They stayed like that for what may have been two minutes or two hours, and then Hajime asked what had been bothering him for months.

  
"Why did you leave the states?"  
Tooru didn't seem bothered by the question.

"Who told you I used to swim there?"

"Wakatoshi. He sais you went there straight after high school."  
"Yes. I went to school in Boston, got a scholarship and all."  
"Your parents must have had been proud."  
"They were."

Tooru paused for a few minutes and Hajime didn't push him, knowing he'll speak once he'll be ready.

  
"I came back because my grandmother got sick. She was diagnosed with colon cancer, and I realized that spending her last months with her was more important than swimming."

  
"How is she now?"

  
"Better. She still has some time. But coming back here to my family made me see how Lonely I was. I had no friends, no one to talk to. I was so focused on practice that I lost myself along the way."

"Are you better now?"  
"I am." Tooru nodded and Hajime smiled.

"You're right," Hajime said after a few seconds of silence. "I like helping people, making them feel better. That's why I chose to major in psychology, and I want to open my own clinic."

"That sounds great," Hajime could see the light reflect in Tooru's light eyes. "You'll be great at it, I can tell."

"I hope so. It's the only thing I can imagine myself doing, you know?"  
Tooru nodded. "What do you want to do when you grow up?" Tooru chuckled.

"I'm not sure yet. I just like space and conspiracy theories, I don't have any goals or dream jobs. Except for swimming, maybe."

Hajime hummed in understanding. He wasn't planning on swimming after college, but a lot of his teammates were aiming for the national team.

  
"What's holding you back, then?"  
"My parents. They're scared I'll be jobless once I'm too old to do the crawl properly." Tooru joked, but Hajime could see the dim hurt in his eyes, as if he had been used to hiding it for years.

"You're an amazing swimmer," Hajime brought his hand up in a surge of confidence and traced the freckles on Tooru's straight nose. "The best on the team, probably."

  
"Tobio is a prodigy, swimming is like second nature to him. I could never beat him." Tooru sounded bitter, and suddenly the dirty looks and the cold voice Tooru had every time he spoke to Tobio made sense.

Hajime poked Tooru's nose. "Shut up. You can't compare yourself to others all the time and then be angry about it, it will only make you worse."

  
"Did you learn that in your fancy classes?"  
"Shut up," Hajime chuckled. "You're the fancy one, with the astronomy and school in Boston."  
"Ha."

Hajime watched Tooru's face, the curve of his nose and the bow of his lip.

  
"Tooru, I-" He started, but couldn't find the words or the courage to ask out loud. "Why did you get annoyed when I hugged Keiji?"  
Hajime internally slapped himself in the face. That was _not_ what he had wanted to say.

"Keiji is not the one I'm interested in if that's what you're asking."

"Oh," Hajime gasped when Tooru cupped his cheek in his warm hand, tracing his eyelid with his long thumb. "Good."

He fell asleep like that, with Tooru's hand cradling his face and the deep brown of his eyes the last thing he saw.

 

"Why did you tell me to come here?"

Hajime crossed his arms across his chest and stared down at Tooru. He was in the pool, supporting himself on the edge and smiling mischievously at Hajime.

Hajime hasn't seen Tooru since the day after the party, where they both woke up and said awkward goodbyes. Two days had passed, two days of Hajime sulking and thinking that he'd somehow fucked everything up.  
And then, Tooru had sent him a text. Hajime didn't know how he got his number, but as he read it he didn't even care.

Tooru told him to come to the pool, even though they didn't have practice on Mondays, and Hajime had spent his last class -History- on the edge of his seat, the text clouding his mind and blocking out the teacher's voice.

Hajime didn't have any idea about how he convinced one of the coaches to give him the keys, but here Tooru was, already wearing his swimming trunks and his wet curls clinging to his forehead.

"Come in."

"Huh?"Hajime said with a cocked eyebrow, his face already breaking into a smile.

"Change, and come in." Tooru was floating on his back, and Hajime let his gaze wander to the soft lines of muscles on Tooru's torso, tearing his eyes away from the sharp hipbones that disappeared under Tooru's green swimming suit.

"Who says I brought my suit?"

"You wouldn't come to the pool without your swimming suit, right?"

Hajime clicked his tongue in defeat. "Fine. Wait for me?"  
"IllI start early if you take yoo long."

Hajime rolled his eyes and hurried to the locker room. He quickly changed, throwing on his suit and snatching up his cap a d gogles on his way out.

Tooru was waiting on one of the starting blocks, with his goggles on his forehead and his hands on his slim waist. He wasn't wearing a cap, so his curls were sticking out in an uncharacteristic mess, but Hajime found Tooru's hair to be endearing like that. It made him look younger, and the smile on his face revealed the dimple that had been driving Hajime crazy for weeks.

Hajime was so not ready for this.

"Let's race."

"Again?" Hajime slipped on his goggles and climbed on the block next to Tooru's. "Why are you so obsessed with racing me?"

"If I win," Tooru started, smiling shyly and making Hajime's brain short circuit. "You'll go out with me."

"We both know you're going to win, anyway."

"I know," Tooru bit his lip. "Do you still want to?"  
Hajime narrowed his eyes with disbelief when he understood that Tooru was nervous. Because of him.  
What a time to be alive.

"I'll go out with you even if you lose."

He didn't, just as Hajime predicted. Tooru had reached the end of the pool seconds before Hajime, his clinging to his sharp cheekbones and the mole by his eye gleaming in the harsh fluorescent lights.

"I win," He took Hajime's goggles off, letting them sink into the water. "Lucky me."

"Yeah." Hajime nodded in agreement, and then he put his hand on Tooru's nape, bringing the other man closer.  
And then, smiling at the way Tooru's breathing seemed to stop, Hajime leaned in, bringing their lips together.

(As he would affirm, later on, getting caught making out in the pool by the janitor half an hour later, was definitely not something that Hajime would ever regret.).

**Author's Note:**

> I wonder if making out in a pool would be comfortable. Probably not.  
> I also tried to include all of my other ships in here lol could you tell? Maybe I'll write something about the Kagehina lapdance, who knows?


End file.
